Sunday, October 08, 2006

It depends on what your definition of "precocious" is

Ok, so I have sat back and watched the moral Republicans tap-dance around the fact that they have been hugging a pedophile and I'll admit it: I'm partisan enough that I have laughed out loud. It feels good to know that this party which has spent the better part of TWO decades calling me and everything I believe in value-less and basically evil can screw up this bad.

So now I sit back and smile as I watch people squirm with every last detail of the Mark Foley scandal. At first I felt some sympathy - having been a Democrat during the Monica Lewinsky thing, I remember what it's like to realize you backed the sleazy horse. But then I realized, "Hey, my guy was not a hypocrite. He was just horny." Think about it: President Clinton messed around with a young girl in the Oval Office - ewww. (For the record, I will never understand this. He's just not attractive.) The important distinctions here are that he was messing around with someone who was a. over 18, and then some; and 2. not a guy! It's also important to note that Foley was the CHAIR of the House Committee on Missing and Exploited Children. It's a Greek Tragedy and I love it!!!

Don't get me wrong, 2 guys is hot. Brokeback Mountain anyone? But for the party who has made gay-bashing an art, this is just too good. And for the people like me who have been staring, mouths agape at the blind faith the public seems to have in the Republicans, it's euphoric.

Here in Utah the GOP is still the end all when it comes to morals and just being good old plain folks. This is the party which holds the moral compass and tells us all where to go. And what to drink. And who to kiss. (But you can do whatever you want with your gun.)

So, I invite each of you to click on the title and take a listen to one of Utah's senior statesmen and how he sees the congressional page scandal.

**Oh, oh! Let's call it Page-Gate! It's about time those sanctimonious blowhards got their own damn Gate, besides, of course, the original one that led to an impeachment. But I digress.**

Listen to Chris Cannon basically blame the "precocious kids" who work their guts out as congressional pages. It's pretty nice footwork, how he defends Hastert in one breath, and blames the kids - also known in legal terms as "the victims" - in the next.

Let's just say if the rest of this mess hasn't left you feeling like you need 2 piping hot showers to get the sleaze off you, well Chris Cannon will.

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