Tuesday, August 29, 2006

My New Favorite Word

I spent a long weekend away last week. I went to beautiful Santa Maria, CA to see my adorable grandparents. The beauty of the trip was this: I had them all to myself. I spent 4 days looking through old scrapbooks and listening to them tell stories about how they met, his service in the Army Air Corps during WWII and the adventures they had raising 6 kids. Also, I was introducing baby Dorothy to Grandma Dorothy (after whom she is named).

Basically this post will be dedicated to miscellaneous items of interest from my trip. Note: the items are of interest to me, not necessarily to you, the reader.

* My grandparents met on a blind date. They fell in love and corresponded while he served in the Pacific during WWII. I got to see the telegram he sent her when he was discharged.

* My grandmother’s wedding dress was made from a silk Japanese parachute my grandpa brought back from the war. Can you say, "One-of-a-kind?"

* Apparently, my birthplace is such a hole it isn’t even fit for reference on a t-shirt. Thanks.

* Contrary to my mother’s insistence, I was a FAT little girl. I have viewed ample photos to back this up. Note to Mom: I grew out of the fat when I was 7, so you can accept it and move on.

* Birds eat out of my grandfather’s hand – literally.

* Babies will cry at church, regardless of the denomination.

* The home my grandparents live in is pretty much a live version of the Antiques Road Show. My grandma has lived in that house since she was 6 years old. You wouldn’t believe the stuff in there!

* Naming a child after someone is a virtual guarantee that said child will mimic that person in many ways. Case in point – my great-grandmother wrote in my grandmother’s baby book that she was a colicky, difficult child. Baby Dorothy is a notoriously difficult child. Reference the photo of her above.

* My grandfather and I have the ability to watch baseball in any form. We spent a good amount of time enjoying several games on t.v.

And finally: I have a new favorite word. This word will be used to refer to individuals whose behavior is completely beyond reason; a person who cannot be trusted and is to be approached with only the greatest of caution. The new code word for someone we don’t like, my new favorite word: NINCOMPOOP.

Wednesday, August 23, 2006

If Only I were Catholic...

At least he's a Democrat. I was sweating bullets that I'd be Reagan!

You Are Most Like John F. Kennedy

You live a fairy tale life that most people envy.
And while you may have a few dark secrets, few people know them.

Sunday, August 20, 2006

Breaking in the Newbie

I had the best night this week. I took my sweet little nephew (age 13) to his first indoor concert.

First, the back-story:
2 months ago my nephew asked me if I had ever heard of this new group called the Red Hot Chili Peppers. New? Um, I have only been rocking to RHCP since 1988! (Hello, Anthony? Yeah, I want you!)

So I find out RHCP is making a visit to Salt Lake and I work my toosh off for tickets. Long story short - after bidding for 5 days on tickets in Section 19, I lose them!! But I fortuitously find tix in Section 2... lucky!

OK. So we get to the concert. Some of my favorite quotes: "How did you get these seats?!" "Will they play only new stuff?" "Can I get a shirt?" and my favorite, "Are those all speakers?!?!"

So my nephew met Concert Eris. Concert Eris wears makeup and talks to strangers in an effort to get back stage. Concert Eris wears tight shirts (note to RHCP: your original fans are in their 30s and 40s. It's time to get more than freaking baby-T's for the ladies!). And Concert Eris jumps up and down, screams wildly and acts out generally.

There really is no point to this post, except to say this: It was so much fun to see the look in his eye, his gaping jaw, and his utter enjoyment of the moment. He stood perfectly still, mouth open for most of the night (see example in photo to the left).

But he wants to go to more concerts with me, which is awesome cuz he's my favorite pal and I want him to feel like he can hang with me, and talk to me if he needs someone to talk to. And let's face it, with me to play with, the kid's destined for greatness.


You're Totally Sarcastic
You sarcastic? Never! You're as sweet as a baby bunny.Seriously, though, you have a sharp tongue - and you aren't afraid to use it.And if people are too wimpy to deal with your attitutde, then too bad. So sad.

Thursday, August 17, 2006

The Universal Language

I have a great job. I do fundraising and public relations for a non-profit group that serves adults with developmental disabilities. The great thing is that my office is in one of our centers, so I get to interact with our clients all the time – and they are awesome!

Something happened at work today:

I was walking down the hall. A door flew open and out walked “Sue,” one of our clients. I smiled and said, “Whoa! Hi, Sue.” She just kept walking...

then she flipped me off.

Tuesday, August 08, 2006

Join Eris, Won't You?

My friends:

While abusing my high-speed wi-fi connection, I stumbled across this very interesting blog. It's the unofficial blog of the Utah State Senate majority and as you can imagine it is overwhelmingly populated with ultra-conservatives.

Before I knew it, I was commenting back, and now I am a lone debater with a State Representative. Oh, and some people I am fairly certain go to my church.

It's been an eye-opener to see how easily this man has selectively chosen which of my points to flacidly argue against and how quickly he truncates or misrepresents my statements. I'm having a blast!

So I am issuing this invitation. Click on the title of this post and take a gander at what our representatives are trying to do. If you agree with Eris and think they ought to mind their own male business, consider leaving a thoughtful comment. If you agree with Representative Ray ... well, ok.

Monday, August 07, 2006

New Shoes for You, Mr. President

I spent the 2004 election with a 4’ x 3’ John Kerry sign in my window. I admit it, I’m a partisan. But regardless of his party, I just felt that John Kerry was the best man for the job. He had prepared for the presidency his whole life: military service, foreign policy and legislative oversight in the Senate. What a political dreamboat.

He was brilliantly labeled a “flip-flopper” by the Bushies. Combine that with the fact that Democrats could steer just about any campaign straight down the crapper, and you get 4 more years.

And look at us now, stuck in the middle of about 73 foreign policy disasters – how embarrassing to have the Bushies in charge. It’s tragic to think the rest of the world believes that these blindly optimistic, unilateral action loving cowboys (and girl, Secretary Rice) actually represent American values.

In honor of foreign policy disaster #2. Lebanon, first runner-up to #1. Iraq, I proudly present the president with these flip-flops. Not one week ago the Bush line was “No cease fire. It would be unwise to declare a hasty peace.” What’s that? People dying… Well, that’s sad, but BLAH, BLAH, BLAH!!! Now, with no explanation and maintaining that this is not a change in course, the White House and the State Department are supporting a cease fire.

What bothers me is not the blind support of 3 weeks of death and destruction in the world’s most fragile region. It’s the arrogance. The refusal to admit a mistake. The United State’s position in the world is precarious, to say the least, but American pressure in the UN may have helped speed this process along. We just wasted time and lives. Good luck getting Lebanon back into shape.

Of all the things that make me want to scream and pull out all my hair, this kind of arrogance is right up there. It runs just ahead of mispronouncing words you base a war on and filling a cabinet with nincompoops and nitwits. All I can say is, “Save me Jeebus, from the next 2 years!”

Friday, August 04, 2006

Quit Touching My Stuff

August 5 is Sisters Day. I am lucky enough to have 4 sisters of many varieties, shapes and sizes.

I have 2 step-sisters who live far, far away: Michigan and Texas. We don't get to see each other much, but they are wonderful women whom I very much look up to.

I have a younger sister, Courtney. She is 17 and quite the spitfire. As you know, when you are 17 your life is busy and full of friends, work and lots of other stuff. When faced with the choice between friends and your 30-year-old sister, friends almost always win. So I don't get to see her as much as I'd like.

Finally, I have an older sister. Only 3 years apart, we grew up together. Jennifer and I are complete opposites. One tall and blonde; the other not tall and not blonde. One looks just like the mother; the other just like the biological father. Personalities? Well, let's just say that we are more different in this respect than we are in appearance.

The important thing is that Jennifer and I have grown close. Yes, we beat each other up for about 18 years. We are polar in every sense of the word. But we are sisters and that is something.

So today, in honor of the women I am proud to call "Sister" I leave this message:
Thanks for keeping me honest, and for keeping me laughing. And quit touching me!

Wednesday, August 02, 2006

The Problem with the American Dream

Hooray!! Recently the House of Representatives voted to raise the minimum wage for the first time in 10 years! This is great news for those of us in the real world. Studies have shown that when the minimum wage goes up, other wages go up, as well. So we're looking at a future that holds an extra dime or two.

Hold the confetti.

In a "compromise" our representatives also voted to eliminate the Estate Tax (cleverly dubbed the Death Tax by Republicans), which takes a small chunk out of the bundles millionaires leave their kids. According to the House of Representatives, the needy heirs of our nation's wealthy should be spared the indignity of having to pay taxes on their inheritance.

This is important because, as you are well aware, the American Dream means we will all be millionaires one day. Clearly, the GOP and all of Utah's delegation (including pseudoDemocrat Representative Jim Matheson), are just looking out for all of us future millionaires.

Now I'm not sure what bugs me most about this. So let's review some of the more bothersome aspects:

1. This bill was passed with the House's full knowledge that the Senate wasn't going to touch it with a 10-foot pole. Thanks for working on that boys, instead of spending time on anything with a snowball's chance of actually becoming a law!
2. The Estate Tax is worth about $300 billion to the federal budget - boy wouldn't that be helpful in paying for, oh, I don't know, Social Security, Medicare, Medicaid, aid to people with disabilities, Community Development, FEMA, Homeland Security, and on and on and on.
3. About 5 in every 1,000 Americans pays this tax. Only 33 of the people who paid the tax in 2004 were black. Think of 1,000 people you know: 5 of those poor folks. Oh, excuse me, rich folks will have to actually PAY A TAX. Save us all!

Boy, am I glad the House of Representatives is there to help me out. No more will I worry about my $2 million inheritance being bit into by those pesky social services and vital government programs. Whew.

Tuesday, August 01, 2006

Eris Better Get Used to the Heat

Ok, so I like to think of myself as a nice person. I always say, "Thank you." I enjoy sending little notes of appreciation or cards just for fun. You know: generally, a thoughtful person. But this... this is my weakness: I sometimes think mean, superficial thoughts about people. If you have the same problem, please join me in enjoying this article:
http://www.theonion.com/content/node/51148. Seriously, it's like they had a microphone in my head, recording my inner monologue.

Quick Thought: I am reading the New Testament and based on the whole love-your-neighbor/beware-the-beam-in-your-eye thing I am fairly sure I am going to Hell. But at least I'll have cute shoes and I won't be wearing anything with a large floral print.