Eris Will Drive Over You, Damnit!

It was bound to happen: I am overcome with road rage. I have a one-hour commute to my job, which means I spend roughly 10 hours in my car every week. I have, in the past, quite enjoyed my commute. Traffic doesn’t bother me too much and I appreciate the chance to listen to Radio From Hell in the morning and NPR on the way home. It’s my “me” time.

Well, yesterday I became a less than nice person on the road. The incident went a like this:

Eris: Oh, there’s an accident 100 yards ahead, I’d better merge into the open lane.
A**hole in Sports Car (AISC): Oh, there’s an accident 100 yards ahead. I’ll drive 90 yards in this lane and then cut someone off at the last minute.
Eris: Look at this yahoo driving past all the other cars, knowing full well he will have to get over. He’s not even signaling or looking to get over! People better make him wait.
AISC: Hmmm. I’m now at the accident. I’ll start merging into the other lane, and then force my way in.
Eris: Oh no you don’t. (Inching the car forward so you could turn a lump of coal into a diamond between my bumper and the bumper in front of me.)
AISC: What?!?! Don’t you know the world revolves around me? I’ll show you. (Pulls behind Eris and flips her off – with both hands.)
Eris: Listen buddy, if I had my way, you’d still be waiting to get in this lane! (Blow him a kiss.)

Not too bad, right? It was very exciting when it happened – and it stayed with me all night. I felt guilty that this guy was mad at me. I wonder if he even entertains the thought that his driving was inconsiderate and Eris was just trying to teach him a lesson. Probably not. His compensating-for-shortcomings car and sunglasses made it pretty clear that he is far too important to be bothered with merging at the proper moment.

So there you have it. I have become a bitter woman on the road. I wonder if they make little Zen gardens for the dash board?