Oh! My! Heck!

I have so been waiting for this. It's time to open the cedar chest again - I have some old t-shirts and giant buttons in there somewhere...

Beat That, Numismatist

Look what Little Ms. Eris found in her ice cream from Warrens!

Say That 7 Times Fast

Mr. Eris is on soccer sabbatical. Today he went to the doctor to find out how long this unwanted break will have to be and he came home with a post-it note that says:

valgus producing distal femoral osteotomy.

I have informed his parents that they will be paying for this surgery as they clearly sold me a stud with a bum leg. Honestly, this right leg is getting ridiculous! I am voting we just hack the darn thing off. Suggestions for peg-leg design are now being accepted.

This Makes Him Even Hotter in My Book

Yesterday Mr. Eris brought me a Pepsi at the shoe store. No, that's not what makes him even hotter (though it does support my "sweetest guy ever" hypothesis). Here's what happened:

He was walking across the parking lot to come in the store and a car pulled up next to him. A guy rolled down the window and said, "Hey, are you gay?"

Mr. Eris replied, "Yes."

This qualifies him for one of a few things: a. making out with Rupert Everett (I am not opposed, as long as I get to watch!); b. serving as Governor of New Jersey or Senator from Idaho; or c. wearing better shoes.

I can help him with the last one!

For Athena...

Watch this... followed by this...

You're Welcome.

You Look Like a Monkey!

Little Mr. Eris enjoyed his breakfast of Cocoa Puffs and muffins, and present opening. You know your kid is getting old when the birthday prince crown from the dollar section at Target is too small. He did not enjoy the bobby-pins.

Happy Birthday, Big Guy!

Remember Me?

I had to check my blog today because I honestly couldn't remember the last time I posted. Not much to tell you, except that today starts week 9 of 14 for school and it's starting to get real. This semester has been much better for two reasons: first, I'm not working full time at the shoe store, so I actually have time to get my work done (not that I ever have all my reading done, I'm not that good); and second, I have method classes instead of theory classes, so I get to do actual research and not that crappy "what is the true meaning of theory?" junk.

Anyway, I have an IRB and tons of reading for a state-of-the-research paper to do, so I'd better skedattle. But first a couple of personal notes:

To Athena: The door was snacked on again when Little Mr. Eris forgot to put the pup in the kennel. She's getting plenty of fiber at Auntie Eris's house.

To the Duchess: Once again, sorry about the soft-porn.

To Meemoo: Anytime you need a laugh I'm happy to share my wedding book. The video has some choice stuff too. Maybe when you come to visit.

To the Numismatist: Maybe we can take 1/4 of another $5 bill and cash in your find, as well as the 3/4 of the original? Am I brilliant? Thanks for the spell-check!

Finally, to the U: Up yours, tentatively.

Love, Eris.

The Many Talents of the Little Ms.

Tonight while Little Mr. Eris and I read our chapters in HP5 Little Ms. Eris decided to do my hair. This is always an adventure. It started with every headband she owns being snapped onto my head (forehead, too, very Solid Gold) and ended with this:

Six-Word Memoirs

A couple of weeks ago I heard a story on NPR (yes, I know, Nerd!) about six-word memoirs. They issued a challenge to listeners to write their own. Some were great, moving, sweet, funny, etc. I have been working on mine for a while and, while I am sure it will change (suggestions are welcome), this is it:

"Living for family that loves back"

Share yours.

PS - Dad, thanks for the books. I've been grinning and on the verge of tears over this fun, new collection all day. Can't wait to crack them!

Meemoo Rocks!

I shared the puking in the car memory on your blog, Meemoo, but I wanted to make sure I shared something nicer: I'm glad we kidnapped you and Mitchell in 2001 for a trip to S.M. (the photo is from your first trip to my house!) and I am so grateful for your friendship, and the fact that you and I both married big studly, geeks, so we could do things like:
- stay up all night talking the first night we met Matt;
- pull an all-night drive and go to a Broncos game;
- watch comic-book themed movies;
- play in Disneyland with my mom, and stay at your parents' house (why did they move?!);
- abuse my shoe discount;
- do scrapbooks with your sister (while Clay walked around shirtless);
- buy a red rug in Greely.

You're the best - Happy Birthday!

Another One?

Pray for the people at Northern Illinois University.

Fortunately, I teach in a state that forces the university to allow guns on campus. So, it's all going to be fine.

Pride Schmide

The guy next to me on the TRAX platform threw four pennies, one at a time, on the tracks.

I immediately jumped in and picked them up.

And Then He Goes and Does Something Like That

Today was Wednesday (NO. There will be no Super Tuesday post - visit the Duchess for that). On Wednesdays I stay home all day. It rocks. On this Wednesday, I spent the day cleaning all the "Little" rooms.

Little Mr. Eris lives in the basement where he enjoys a fair amount of freedom. I get down there once every couple of weeks to yell at him for a messy room. Today I skipped the middle man and just cleaned it myself. I wasn't too mad, because he had just cleaned it a couple of days ago. So I started going through all the little papers and scraps (and a kabillion candy wrappers... glad we're paying for those braces just so his teeth can rot) and I found a TRAX ticket on his desk.

The TRAX ticket was from September 12, 2007 - the day he came to school with me and went to one of my classes. We rode the train, ate some lunch, went to class and had a great time.

The kid saved the TRAX ticket. Sweet Oden's Rave, I love him.

PS - Numismatist, this story is not aimed at you...

Eris: Frontier Woman

Last night as I left school I walked on the sidewalk in the dark (apparently, in an effort to "Be Green" the U has decided that lighting along the sidewalks is unnecessary) I chatted with Mr. Eris on the phone. I was concentrating on the ground, hoping to not slip on some ice. I looked up.

Three deer were standing on the sidewalk in front of me. They were staring at me. I stopped and asked, "What do I do here? I know they can't rip out my jugular, but they don't appear to be scared of me...."

As Mr. Eris told me to "just keep walking, they'll move." I noticed two more deer just off the sidewalk, coming toward the three already in front of me, all of them looking at me.

I froze. "Um, now there are five and I don't think I can take them in a fight." Mr. Eris mocked. I took a couple of steps backward and noticed that there were three more deer just off the other side of the walk.

For those of you doing the math, that's EIGHT DEER confronting me on sidewalk. What are they, in a gang? Am I about to be jumped in?

I turned around and took the long way to the TRAX station. They made me miss my train.

My Grill

UPDATE: Day 2 and the menu so far? A Razzmatazz Jamba Juice (filling and cold, so it felt good on the metal mouth) and now, oatmeal. Basically anything I don't have to chew. Jealous? I thought so.

Yes, I have a grill. 8-12 months and counting.

I have officially added "Wear your retainer"
to the list of things the Numismatist was right about.

For You, Duchess

Pick Flick!

You're Clapping for That Guy?

Not that you care, but below are my comments on the SoU:
- $300 million to send inner-city kids to private schools? Why don't we spend $300 million to improve the public schools they already go to?!
- The ear-mark thing? Pretty brave to make a new rule that only applies in 2009. Good luck new guy (or gal).
- "When it comes to health care funding, decisions should be made between you and your doctor, not the halls of government." Don't get too excited lady, you and your uterus are still fair game.
- The "c" comes before the "l" in NUCLEAR when you spell it and when you say it.
- I think Nancy Pelosi is reading a Harlequin Romance.
- Fuzzy math... if 20,000 troops are on the way home from Iraq, not to be replaced, is that off the original 150,000 sent or the 30,000 additional troops sent in last year's "surge" so technically we still have 10,000 more there than when we started? It's confusing to me.
- Pledge to the troops that you'll have everything you need.*
- Maybe Iran's nuclear subterfuge is the result of a translating error. It's possible they do not have a word for "nucular."
- I love the Homer Simpson argument that this administration has kept us safe from another terrorist attack on our soil. "Ever since the Bear Squad came to town, I haven't seen another bear."

*This pledge is effective Jan. 28, 2008 and cannot be applied to the armor and protective gear we gave you to start out with in 2003.

D'oh!

It snowed today. Technically, it was a blizzard. On the news you would have thought it was the end of the world. It started around 10 and continued for three hours, and I admit I was nervous about getting to school tonight. I considered calling in to cancel. But I didn't. I shoveled out of my driveway at 2 o'clock and drove to school. At 4:55 a classmate saw me as I was taking off my coat and he said, "Aren't you happy about tonight?" I was puzzled. "You do know that class is cancelled, right?"

Apparently an email went out at 1:48, about three minutes after I packed up my stuff and started shoveling out. I drove for two hours and wasted a quarter tank of gas, and now I am home.

On the bright side: I get to watch the State of the Union. I am seriously considering liquor tonight in celebration of the last Bush SoU I will have to listen to.

Have We Met?

Mr. Eris is sitting next to me, surfing the web. He actually just said this to me:

"I love how they print articles that say things like, 'Why Obama won.' He won because he got more votes. Duh."

So, does he even know what I do?

Water, Water Everywhere and Not a Drop to Drink (or Shower)

Since Thursday afternoon we have been without water. A pipe broke up the canyon. A 70-plus-year-old pipe. For 12 hours they tried to weld the big, freaking gash in the pipe. It didn't work. Go figure. For the past three days one-third of the O.C. has been living off bottled water and the kindness of family of friends for showers.

Tonight the water came back on, but here's the kicker: the city delivered 4 gallons of bottled water to each house today so we could have drinking water and on the news they said the water would basically be toilet water until Monday. Has the city made any effort to contact us and tell us what this stuff coming out of our tap is safe for? NO.

I have water coming out, but I can't wash dishes. Or clothes. Or my body. So tomorrow I will shower at the Numismatist's house and do laundry at Mr. Eris's parents' house. And I will pray that my neighbors are smarter than Mr. Eris (who just threw away his toothbrush because he started to brush his teeth with the tap water).

Thank you Nincompoop.