Friday, December 05, 2008

The Airing of Grievances 2008

Several times over the past year my cable reception of Comedy Central has been very staticky, making it difficult to hear the Daily Show on random days. How am I supposed to know what the heck is going on?!

The windshield on my car is trying to escape from its rightful place. The clippy things that hold it onto the car are apparently not in stock… um… anywhere, so now I have packing tape holding the windshield on. Classy. I am a couch-on-the-front-porch away from white trash without even enjoying the perks like abandoning personal hygiene. Not fair.

I am putting the leaves in my yard on notice: quit inviting your friends over. I mean it! I sweep some of you off the carport, I go about my business, I come back 5 minutes later and there are more of you. Knock it off!

I disagree with the weather. Not for anything specific, just in principle. It bothers me.

Why can’t the yogurt industry create a yogurt pack that doesn’t spit at me when I open it? There ought to be some way to make this work?

My dog broke the “4” key on my computer. Any task that involves typing the number “4” should be banned for my convenience.

Animated food is unacceptable. I should not be subjected to commercials with food that talks or walks.

I want Pepsi in the machines at my work. I can purchase it in the food court, but not the machines? Do you have a problem with the color blue or the letter P?! Either way, you owe me the extra steps I have to take to get to my favored beverage.

3 comments:

'boo said...

celebrating festivus early this year?

The New Jan Brady said...

Next is the feets of strength.
Festivus is not over until you pin me

Janell said...

I'm glad to know I'm not the only one who relies on the Daily Show to tell me what's happening in the world =D