Priceless

Tonight I got in my car at the train station and saw this on my windshield.



I laughed and cried all the way home.

Thank you from the bottom of my everything.

Bill Cosby Was Right

The following is a collection of quotes from the Little Erises over the past few days:

- "Neil Diamond is still alive?" Mr. Eris

- "What 'damn color' do you want to paint the walls?" Littlest Ms. Eris

- "Mom, is your hair supposed to look like that?" Little Ms. Eris

Clearly, my children are all little comedians.

Dear John McCain

Now, I know that you are like 92.5 years old and have to keep running around to keep the press away from your running mate, so I get you're busy. But do you think you could possibly manage to find the time to show up for the debate. I understand you are "putting country first" but I respectfully submit the following:

1. You are not on any committee that comes even close to touching the financial crisis. This means that your only job on this one is to show up and vote, then get back in your plane and get to the debate.
2. Even if you do stay in D.C. to talk bail out, do you seriously think the Democratic leadership is going to allow you to monopolize the conversation? Um, they're taking care of this one... go sit down... in a plane and get to the debate.
3. What could you possibly have to add to the conversation when just a week ago you said, "The fundamentals of the American economy are strong." I guess the devil is in how we define "fundamentals" - clearly you don't include credit, banks, the stock market or the housing market in your definition. So just go to the debate.
4. If you really want to be president, isn't this the perfect time for you to talk directly to the American people and tell them why you're the guy. If only there were some place you could go and have national media attention and a chance to contrast yourself with your opponent.... like a debate.
5. I think if you want to be president you ought not make it look like you can't handle a difficult situation without completely dropping all the other balls in the air. Isn't the president supposed to be able to, like, multi-task and stuff? Go to the debate.
6. Finally, I have to believe that the American people, while generally an apathetic lot, can see right through this for what it is: a pathetic stunt. So knock it off and go to the debate.

XOXOXO,
Eris

Question: What Happens After You Spend Five Hours in Church?

Answer: You fall asleep coloring at the kitchen table.

0bs(ene W0rd$ are About to Come Out

I am so sick of this $hit. Could they be any more pathetic?

Humble Pie and a Side of Jell-O

Today I went to the gym with the Duchess. We did this horrible thing called "Body Pump" which I suspect is a program imported straight from Abu Ghraib and Guantanemo Bay. I headed to the class thinking I'd be ok. I've been running 2+ miles three times a week, biking 6+ miles three times a week and swimming 1,000 meters once a week. I can handle an exercise class, right?

What you don't know about the class is that they use barbells and make you do things like squats and curls and lunges. Yeah, that was great.

I cannot walk down the stairs without holding on to a wall. With each step I take my legs are wobbling back and forth. As I type, I am feeling the ache in my tricep and shoulder muscles.

ow.

But I'm Not That Bad

I am teaching a class at a local professional college - you know, two year degrees and stuff. This is my second class and this one is online. I totally love it. Very little energy expended for a tidy little paycheck. I freely admit that I haven't spent a lot of time with the material (the phrase "whatever I can get away with" is about right) but last night it got real.

I caught a student plagiarising. The first few assignments were opinion based, but this week they had to summarize info from the text. Well one student decided to give her answer verbatim from the textbook.

Seriously, do people really not realize it raises a billion little red flags when they start using words "causal" and "morbidity" after four weeks of improperly using "there" "they're" and "their"?!?! Duh.

PS - I added a new blog to the sidebar. Cakewrecks is awesome! I giggle each time I visit.

Awkward

I have been trying very hard to hit the gym at school on Tuesdays and Thursdays. I have a nice block of time to play with and can swim laps or do some biking/running bricks in prep for the Fall Moment of Insanity.

Last week a student of mine from Summer Semester signed in at the pool right before I did. Luckily I didn't see her. It would have been weird, I thought.

Today as I came out of the shower and started dressing (I am very proud of the fact that I can now undress and dress in the locker room without hiding in a bathroom stall. Bravery!) I noticed that the woman standing right next to me is a student in Tuesday/Thursday morning class. We were both topless.

So that happened.