Sunday, July 05, 2009

I Spent $4.50 on Those Stickers!

Friday night Mr. Eris and I ran out of ... provisions of the most absolutely necessary. You know the kind you need most often in the wee hours.... Good, we're all on the same page. On with the story.

Last night we went to the store. Our local store keeps these provisions (along with pregnancy tests) locked in a cabinet by the pharmacy. It was after 11 p.m. so yes, I expected the pharmacy to be closed. What I did not expect is the cabinet to be locked. I went to the checkout counter and asked the woman on shift to unlock the cabinet. Guess what? No one in the store had a key.

That's just fan-fracking-tastic. I guess tonight I will work on my scrapbooking a la Edward Cullen instead of, well, what I was hoping to do.

My own personal frustration aside, I am forced to wonder about others who enter the store on the same errand as mine. What if they are young kids who once thwarted decide to just give up and go ahead without provisions? How many unplanned pregnancies and STDs originated outside this locked cabinet?

PS - Read the link. It is hilarious, riddled with naughty words and will explain the title of this post.


Mrs. Dub said...

Smiths is supporting teen pregnancy.
Everyone needs a cause.

The Numismatist said...

Don't you have a two-year supply?

Keep working on those scrapbooks.
(I read some of the link... yep, Edward is totally like that.)

mfranti said...


but a mirena iud is a better use of time and funds.

Loki said...

First of all...I am going to assume that the situation was and as Elaine would say "sponge worthy". Second, it sounds like it is just time for "Mr" to consider the ol' snipity snip. Heck, it's considered "outpatient surgery".

I'm one to talk, but I too am planning on having this medical conversation with the ol' M. Dee.

Muriel said...

Well, then you would be in my predicament and you wouldn't have to think about such things.

Anonymous said...

Ha, that reminds me of one night my wife & I were babysitting overnight at my BIL's place. I hunted in EVERY store open around there that night for our normal "precautions", and it took a while to find a place with them that was open.

I did find a contraceptive douche at one place (sorry folks!), but my wife would have killed me if I brought THAT back...

That was 25 years ago. I did the "snipity snip" 12 years ago, so no more antics like those.


G said...

heard that plastic wrap and vaseline work in a pinch (heh, probably by some teen who now has a baby and an STD.)

btw... I'm totally going to facebook that link. AWESOME!

Erstwild said...

G: There was a link a saw about using a plastic shopping bag as a female one. But, the insertion comments were way over the top.

Oh, and the store bought types of this for both sexes have an expiration date, so a 2 year supply may expire before you get to use them. After that date, you may get gummyness, pinholes, or the dreaded breaking.

-Mike H.

Anonymous said...

It's Moniker Challenged, clicking on your name link after reading your Getting to Know you comment on FMH. I don't know if you're a Utahn, but I just noticed moved to the U-T and am amazed by the security precautions surrounding the "necessary items" What, no oozy-wielding retired special forces agents? Is this one of those Zion curtain-type issues, or do repressed persons just steal them a lot?

Erstwild said...

Hi MC! Nice you can stop by!

I wonder if you can special order them "necessary precautions" at the BYU Bookstore?

G: Yes, send that around. I got a laugh out of it. Mel & Lisa can even use it at Sunstone, but I don't know who owns the copyright.

That plastic wrap story was good for a snicker. That is as bad a technique as the "rinsing out" (I'm trying not to use that D word again so no one gets upset) with whatever soft drink is handy afterward. The first time I read about that last "method", I busted up laughing real good. And, yes women who do that "rinsing" probably still got pregnant & STD's.

Loki: "Heck, it's considered "outpatient surgery"." Yes, except for a guy at my workplace who had to have it done TWICE since it didn't work the first time! He said it was really nasty the second time.

Mrs. Dub: Smith's can sell a TON of diapers for each extra kid out there! So, it pays to restrict sales of them!

-Mike H.

Erstwild said...

I know this is WAY late, but saran wrap has come up in a more "global" way at fMh: