Miss Baltimore Crabs

I have been jamming out. I got the soundtrack to "Hairspray" yesterday (how much do I LOVE f.y.e.'s buy-back policy?!) and I have been singing along in my car all day. I am a huge fan of musicals, and as I've mentioned before I like to practice for my big Broadway debut in my car.

There is a method to the rehearsing:
1. I pick the part I think I could reasonably pull off
2. I listen through once, trying not to sing along
3. I then listen over and over and over and over again, singing along at the top of my powerful lungs.
4. I start over with a new cd.

"Hairspray" has presented me with an unpleasant reality... I am now too old to sing along to the Tracy Turnblatt or Penny parts without feeling completely ridiculous. I could probably pull of the Queen Latifa songs, but I'm not black, so we're back at square one.

Anyhow, I must face the fact that I am now old enough to play the mom roles. So, I will proudly learn "Miss Baltimore Crabs" and imagine myself looking fabulous in the costumes she gets to wear.

Suggestions...

I logged on to my Umail account today - it's where ALL the U information is found, and addressed directly to me. I have been avoiding this for a couple of weeks, because it has my tuition bill on there. But tuition is due next week and I thought I'd better bite the bullet. Which leads me to the following:

Where can I pick up an extra 2k in the next 4 days?
Seriously, how much blood would I have to donate?
I have an extra kidney here that's doing absolutely nothing.

Send suggestions... or donations ~wink~

Numismatist, you are now free to comment (NOT ON THE SHOES!).

From the Green Scottish Hills

In case you were wondering: I am a size 8 and yes, they are already on hold. Now I just have to figure out what I need to be rewarded for so I can bring them home.

PS - Can you believe I have these in a flat Mary Jane?

NO comments from the Numismatist are allowed on this one.

Beat This

I decided to "google" myself tonight. I am not well-known for my scholarship, but I found this.

I will be using this in my Christmas card this year.

Mom of the Year

Today Mr. Eris and I took the kids swimming. By the kids, I mean our three kids and the Little Meemoos. The Meemoos have been staying with us for the last 2 days. Super fun!

So we took the kids swimming and had a blast. While there, the Numismatist bought all the gang Creamies. Yum. So I'm wiping melted Creamie off tiny people, and I realize some of them have wandered off. I get up to see if the Little Meemoos are all still above water. I was not concerned about the Little Erises because they spend more time at the pool than they do at home and they know the rules.

The life guard is in the water, pulling out a child. It's the Littlest Ms. Eris. She had followed Little Mr. and Little Ms. Eris - both fine swimmers - to the edge of the pool and decided to jump in. She wasn't in there long, and when he pulled her out she coughed a bit, cried for 5 minutes and then wanted to get right back in the water.

The damage was all maternal. I cannot sit still without thinking about her sinking in the water. I can't stop cursing myself for being so careless. And I can't forgive myself for being such a bad mom.

I like to think I make up for it by keeping them bathed?

3 Down, A Billion To Go

I have completed my first three days of orientation to school.

Day 1: Awesome. My Dept. Chair gave inspirational opening remarks that made me a bit verklempt, actually. She spoke of the pride we should feel for being there - "No imposters here. We chose you," the humility we should feel for the being there - "You're here because others were not selected. Also, you are here thanks to the opportunities you have been afforded in life," (shout out to Mr. and Mrs. Numismatist) and the responsibilities we will have while there and after we finish "You will have doors open to you that others would never dream of."

Day 2: Horrifying. Starting to realize that this is at least a 4-year commitment I have just made. Am I ready to do this AGAIN?

Day 3: Meh. About teaching - but as I have not been selected to teach this semester the seminar was basically useless for my immediate needs.

So, I'll keep you posted. For those of you keeping track: Breakdowns = 1.

I Guess We'd Better Start Saving for College

Today we got the letter from Little Mr. Eris's school. This is the letter that tells us who will be his teacher for the next year. I requested Mrs. Miller (she taught there when I was a Falcon and she's the choir director - I feel strongly that Little Mr. Eris should be part of choir in his early years. A nod to the Numismatist, likely).

Anyway, as I read the letter, I laughed at the boneheads in charge of educating my child. They put him in a 5th Grade class. Um, hello? The kid is 9 years-old. That's 4th Grade. You know the one that comes after 3rd Grade (the grade he finished last year!). Then I notice the little pink note that came with the letter:

"Your student Jacob has been assigned to a fourth/fifth split class. One of the purposes of this class is to give independent learners a chance for some extended learning opportunities. Each grade will cover their core curriculum requirements, and they will also have the opportunity to broaden and deepen their learning experience beyond the basics."

I don't mean to be one of those kind of parents, but I can't stop smiling. He's smart! I am so proud!

Question

If a dog ate my marriage certificate, does this mean I can date again?

Svarnyk and Byll

Tonight was our big family night: roller skating! It was Patient Appreciation Night for our foxy orthodontist, so the skating and pizza were on the house. Well, technically we pay $210 a month for the priviledge of rolling around in a circle wearing shoes hundreds of strangers have worn previously. It was magical, but that is not the story.

As we were getting ready to go, Mr. Eris was taking the kids to the counter to cash in their prize tickets and I waited off to the side with the Littlest Ms. Eris. While waiting, I found a $1 bill! As I scanned the carpet for more cash, I saw a cigarette pack. I wasn't sure if it was empty, and I waited for a while to see if anyone would claim it. I stood there debating how badly I wanted to actually bend over and pick up this pack, three teenagers came walking by...

One of them picked up the pack, smiled, put the pack in his pocket, and walked on. I was mortified and immediately felt guilty that I hadn't picked it up before this little punk got to it. I decided to keep an eye on where he was and as soon as Mr. Eris got back I was going to ditch my kid and go after the smoker.

As luck would have it, he came back my way before Mr. Eris got back.

I looked at him and said, "Hey. That thing you put in your pocket? Gimme it." He smiled sheepishly and handed them over. Not a word of protest. What could he say? He knew he was busted.

Now for the best part. When Mr. Eris came back I waved the pack in front of him. He was puzzled, so I quickly told him the story, but not before all the kids (including our friends' kids who we had brought along for the fun) came back.

Little Mr. Eris said, "What's that?"
"Don't worryy about it," I replied.
"Are those cigarettes?" he asked.
"Yes," I said.
"WHY ARE YOU SMOKING?! YOU SHOULDN'T BE SMOKING!!" he yelled.

I explained the situation. Then I walked out, experiencing one of the proudest parenting moments I have ever had.

What's Your Power?

This is awesome.

I think my power would have to be that I am exceptionally loud, especially my laugh. Combine this with my general inappropriateness, and I have the uniqe ability to disturb virtually any sitation.

PS - The horse whisperer's house has a "For Sale" sign in the yard!!!!! Anyone willing to buy this house would have my eternal gratitude.

Smart People

I spent the last two days at a communication conference hosted by my department. It was my first conference. Ever.

I enjoyed it, listening to smart people using big words, most of them in an order that made it especially difficult to understand.

The reason I went was basically to brown nose. As I mentioned earlier, it was hosted by my department, and they needed volunteers to help with registration. I figured this would be a good way to get my name out there and I'd get a chance to attend the conference, too!

So, here are the highlights of the day:
1. I met a woman who has put into words my final goal: rhetorical leadership. This is the idea that communication scholars can take their research to government representatives, public entities, and anyone else who needs to communicate with the public and teach them how to effectively communicate with their various publics. Is this not awesome?!
2. I met a couple of professors from my new department. They seem nice, but they're no Duchess.
3. I met a couple of students who are entering their second year in the program. Got lots of advice and am feeling very frightened but marginally up to the challenge.
4. To the man who sat behind me at the 3:30 seminar: Please stop crinkling your paper repeatedly. It is very disturbing!! Oh, and taking your shoes off during the presentations may be super comfortable for you, but it's nauseating for those of us sitting around you. Were you raised in a barn?

I think that's all. Countdown to school: 10 days to orientation, 17 days to first day of class!