Now All We Need is a Gondola

While logging on to my interweb today, I found some nice news about my lovely hometown. It seems Ogden Canyon was voted one of the 10 best places to see fall foliage in the country. That's right, the whole country.

For anyone who has ever driven the canyon during the months of September and October, this will come as no surprise. It is breathtaking. But it's nice to be noticed - people are always talking so much about stupid New England in the Fall, that I thought we'd never get our time to shine.

So, come to Ogden and view our lush reds, our vibrant oranges, the inspirational hole where the mall once stood, and the eye-popping yellows. And while you're here, take a tour of the gondola route. You'll be lifting Ogden in no time.

Random Thoughts

It's been crazy around here, so I have been neglecting my numerous readers (honestly, I may be up to 10 people now!). A thousand apologies.

I haven't got the energy to think of anything important enough to write, so I will just give you a list of my various thoughts as of late...

- People cannot be counted on for anything. It's true - people agree to hold positions of responsibility or complete a project and then come up with dozens of reasons to not follow through. I hate people.

- If you are driving on the freeway or highway and it is sunny, you should go the speed limit. Seriously, the cops should pull you over for doing 50 in a 55 on a clear day.

- My kids will never go to sleep on the first try. Why do we even have a bed time??

- I have a weekly meeting at work. This week we spent at least 10 minutes discussing bathroom issues: smears and procedures for clogged toilets. (There is an entire list of things like this that happen at my work.)

- My husband is no more capable of doing my daughters' hair or dressing them in matching clothes than he is of operating a nuclear reactor.

- The Red Sox and the Democrats have been the loves of my life - and yet, they have been the main source of my frustration and heartbreak. Both groups will always find a way to screw up even the biggest of leads.
Note: I am disenfranchised with the Democrats, but I will always believe in the BoSox. They'll be back once they get a bullpen... and an outfield... and a better back up catcher. Only 84 more years.

- There is nothing good to eat that does not contain milk, wheat or red meat. I haven't had a cheeseburger in 6 weeks and I'm ready to kill someone. I miss eating chocolate without a sense of foreboding.

- Finally, my reproductive organs suck. Except for the 3 times they actually succeeded in reproducing, they have done nothing but cause me pain and piss me off. This should explain the tone of this post.

Part II

Ok, it's time for another word. Check the previous post (Part I) for the genesis of this discussion, but long story short: my first word in this series helped my cousin with her crossword puzzle the next day, so I thought I'd better keep it up.

Word #2
ameliorate to improve or make better.
Used in a Sentence: Eris' intelligent use of the word "prevaricate" helped to ameliorate her cousin's progress on the crossword puzzle.

TA-DA!!

Goodbye to a Hero

There's not a whole lot I can say about this, except Governor Ann Richards is my hero. I have loved her since she spoke of Bush 41's "silver foot." This is a loss to every woman who not only believes, but knows, that she can contribute something and change the world for better.

One thing is for sure, wherever she is, the men are being kept in check.

Bye, Ann

I'm So Proud

Apparently, someone likes what I've been doing. Click on the title of this post and see...

Words I Should Have Been Using All Along: Part I

I am going to keep a list of words I am learning in my GRE vocabulary review. Not a general list, but one that contains words I wish I had been using already because they just fit a particular person or thing in my life.

Word #1:
Prevaricate: to speak equivocally or evasively, i.e., to lie.
Fitting sentence: That man is a prevaricating NINCOMPOOP.

Feel free to add your own words. It will help me build my vocabulary.

Pythagoras Should Burn

Eris has been missing. There is a reason: I am preparing to take the GRE in 5 weeks. You may ask, "But Eris, did you not already take an entrance exam for graduate school?" I would answer, "Shut the fu** up and help me with this word problem!" I freaking HATE MATH!

I received my MS from Utah State University (Go Aggies!). A great school, a great program, and a great experience. Even better, USU accepted an entrance exam that is not the GRE. I happily took this exam because it had less math. Yes, I'm just that lazy.

Well now it's come back to bite me in the buttocks - both of 'em. I am applying for doctoral programs at 2 universities, and wouldn't you know it, they require the GRE. So I have purchased a book with practice tests and a CD. I have purchased flash cards with math problems and vocabulary words. I have been buried in the math review sections and I have just about gone bald.

I hate math. I hate everything math stands for. Consequently, I hate astronomy, chemistry, and anything even tangentially related to these topics. I would like to find the SOB who came up with the idea of word problems and shove an abacus up their ...

but I digress. I am preparing to take the GRE.

Pray for Eris.

Quick note:
When I revealed the two schools I am applying for, my mother was non-plussed about the out-of-state option, which is the ideal, perfect, dreamy program for what I want to do. Anyway, I accused her of being less than a feminist for trying to get me to stay in Utah for my kids. She was forced to analyze her objection and happily called me 1 hour later to tell me that she still didn't want me to go, but not because I 'm a girl. It's because she doesn't want me to take the grandkids. Basically, I could jump off a bridge and she'd be fine, as long as she got her A, D, and J time.

Five Years

God Bless the Whole Wide World. Amen

What I've Learned

While I doubt I can offer as much worthwhile items as Homer J. Simpson , I have some things I have learned as well.

- Finishing college is easy, as long as you have a loose timetable.
- I don't have the energy to chase after annoying people.
- As long as you have checks or a credit card, you always have "money."
- Any job in customer service is simple, as long as you don't have to deal with the general public.
- Everyone just needs to give me a second to think.
- Lunch dates are never as great as you planned.
- When someone in a suit looks at you for more than 5 seconds, it is never good.
- Husbands will do almost anything for you in exchange for a look at a boob.
- Children will only get sick on the weekend or on a holiday, but never when the doctor is in and has a moment.
- Dogs can heal anything that hurts, especially your heart.
- Most things that are good for you in the long run, suck in the now (Yes, I am talking to you, exercise.)
- Three letters that are never in a good sentence: STD.
- Dinner with my grandma will always include this sentence: "Oh, you remember insert name here. You knew them when you were 4."
- Time spent with my sister will include three things: laughing at inappropriate stories, at least one bruise, and an occular strain from rolling my eyes at her.
- You will never catch a bouncy ball on the first bounce.
- Being around my mother will ultimately force me to reexamine some decision I have made.
- Children do not know how to whisper.
- Voting for a Texan will lead to ruination - LBJ, George W. Bush, case closed.
- There is no more futile exercise than cleaning my house. 3 kids + 2 dogs = always messy.
- Having really good friends will make life easier.
- Your mom really was right. Damn!
- There is nothing wrong in the world that could not be made right with a new pair of shoes.

Ok, now share what you've learned.