Get Me a Freaking Match

Today marked the beginning of week 10. Let me say that with all the work and stress, I am still loving it. Except for my Monday night class: Free Speech in Society. This is a class that I should love. It's political science-ish mixed in with cultural effects of 1st Amendment rulings in the Supreme Court.

The problem? you ask. Well, the class is made up of six people, including me. A newlywed couple, two guys from CA and two women auditing the class prior to matriculation for the MA program. The two women have mentioned to me that they feel uncomfortable in the class because the other four talk over them constantly and make them feel stupid. I hate being in class with these four people.

They are the worst kind of academics: never worked or had any life experience outside of school (unless you count the 3 months one spent living in London) and they are absolutist on everything.

It is not often I am the most conservative person in the room, but these people make me look like Rush Limbaugh. Actual quotes include:

"Yes, we should burn down the university and give the land back to the people we stole it from."
"I'd love to burn a flag every day because it represents a fascist government."

Ugh! The thing that totally bugs me about people like Ann Coulter and Sean Hannity is their complete inability to recognize subtle shades of gray in social issues. Not everything is black and white and you cannot live life as though it is. Well, these folks are the liberal equivalent of those nut jobs.

I just want to burn down their sweet little ivory tower.

How Sweep It Is

Red Sox sweep Colorado! Woot-woot!!



PS: (Sorry about the pun, it had to be done.)
PPS: To the Numismatist, Mr. Numismatist, Nancy and Anna - my sympathies.

Goldmine

Brace yourself for the most exciting news, EVER! I have downloaded the written transcript of the Senate and House floor debates on McCain-Feingold (Bipartisan Campaign Reform Act) of 2002.

If you would like to join me in content analyzing these transcripts for semiotic differences in the terms used to help identify ideological biases - specifically related to the First Amendment and money as speech/expression... please, just let me know.






Fine. Mr. Eris wasn't thrilled about it either.

Finally!

I drove home from work though snow tonight. Lots of really good, wet snow. I almost stopped the car to get out and let the flakes fall on my tongue.

I love Fall and Winter. Summer can kiss it.

It's My Turn... Again

K of the Michigan cuzes was tagged, and she asked that I play along. I love her, and I feel that I owe some folks something positive on here (I worry that I've done nothing but complain to you, my blogging family).

So, here's my new list of random things:

1. I sometimes fear that I am living in my own version of the Truman Show. Is that odd or narcisistic... or both?

2. I can eat an entire bag/container/carton/etc. of the following items in one sitting: Doritos, cookie dough, pink & white circus animal crackers, Pepsi, eggnog, Aunt Paula's chocolates, saltine crackers. I can't eat most of these things anymore, but if I did - I could polish em off!

3. I can't sleep without a blanket on me. If I try, I dream that I am being attacked by sharks.

4. I have never done all my visiting teaching more than two months in a row.

5. The Numismatist once told me that I have "the ability to make people want to kill themselves, regardless of my words, just by the tone of my voice." I like to think that's a compliment.

6. I sometimes wish I had sowed my wild oats before I got married. I was young and innocent enough when I got married that I don't think I even had oats - so I never got to make it (sorry Mom) with some foxy, long-haired hippy river guide named Chase. And, yes, I realize that was very specific.

7. I don't like gravy on my mashed potatoes. I prefer to eat them with corn.

8. My shirts must all hang facing the same direction on the hanger and be arranged by shade in rainbow order. Same thing with the pants.

9. I have a strong fear of the Nincompoop syndrome. If I can make it to 32 without going certifiable, I'll have beaten the curse.

10. I can play Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon with anyone. I have never been beaten. 8 years of Blockbuster, baby! I may be a little rusty now, but I'll bet I'm still a top-tier competitor.

Ok, I'm supposed to tag other people now that I'm done, but the only person I know who I haven't seen do this is Steph B. So, I'd like my sour tummy buddy to add her own list.

Praying for the Sweet Release of Death

I like to think I am pretty tough. I generally handle pain pretty well, and I have lived my life convinced of the fact that if I had to knock someone out I could do it. Last night tested my view of myself.

It started on Saturday with a little headache. Yesterday it was still there, but I thought I could make it through work and then take a nap at home and be done. By the time I got home at 7 I was bushed. By 8 I was hunched over the toilet jamming a toothbrush down my throat. By 8:15 I was curled up on my bed crying. Finally, at 8:45 I told Mr. Eris I needed to go to the hospital.

Three natural child births and I have never experienced pain like this. And I couldn't breathe my way out of it.

We spent 3 hours in the ER where they gave me a CT scan. Then they gave me a shot of Imitrex, which I normally don't like because it leaves me with a nasty post-headache-headache. But this time I took it gratefully.

Then the nicest man in the whole world gave me a shot for nausea and pain and to help me sleep. This was the best damn shot I have ever had - even though my bum still hurts. I want to marry that man.

So today I am sitting on my bed eating (something I couldn't do yesterday!) and working on homework. I am extending my fall break one more day, as I am not allowed to drive with all this happy shot still in my system.

PS - The Numismatist took care of all the Little Erises and she is thrilled because she now knows what I would be like drunk. Apparently, I am a happy drunk who cannot make it up the stairs and must be carried in giggling like a child.

Numb3rs

For anyone keeping track...

5: reams of paper used this semester (my carbon footprint is HUGE!)
3: ink cartridges used this semester (I did not factor this into the cost of school
3: days left of Fall Break (I have seriously never loved a break so much in all my life)
4: days at work this week so far, 4 shoplifters caught or barely missed (people are evil)
1: friend in the ER (we have got to get her down to only one medical emergency a year)
1: friend whose father recently committed a grizzly murder (she was on t.v. and then went straight back to AZ - smart girl)
2: job interviews for Mr. Eris (things are actually looking better)

Add your own number. I am going to enjoy my day off tomorrow!

Where the Proud Pipers Play

Remember the plaid heels? And how I mentioned that I have the matching flat Mary Janes? Well, I was wearing the plaid flats today at work and the cutest little couple came in to shop for shoes.

Um, the cutest little SCOTTISH couple! As I was ringing them up I said, "Ok, I have to tell you that I went to Ben Lomond High School and we were the Fighting Scots." They were very impressed. And then I showed them my shoes.

Long story short: I now have a place to stay if I ever visit Scotland. Oh yeah.

PS - Numismatist and Big Sis: I wore my contacts today. So far, so good.

Sometimes Patting Your Head Just Isn't Enough

Tonight was a birthday party. The Numismatist and her sister, Always28 (as I have dubbed her) share a birthday and so we got together with all of my extended family. It was all my cousins - except C and K, who were sorely missed - and all their children.

Great cake, and always nice to hang out with everyone. But, Littlest Ms. Eris was not at her best.

She fell asleep on the drive there and got maybe a 20 minute nap. Then she woke up surrounded by my uncle and his two sons. Now, my uncle is a fox, always has been (he married Always28) so you'd think any girl would love to wake up looking at him. Um, not so much for the LME.

Littlest Ms. Eris never quite recovered. She was in a small, hot house (not a hothouse) with a bunch of people she hardly knows and she was not happy about it. Not even the cupcake she inhaled made her happy. In addition to nap thing, she is also cutting her last two teeth, so pleasant was not in her vocabulary.

Here's the problem. I had to spend two hours listening to people describe the Littlest Ms. as "pretty glass half empty" and "just naturally unpleasant." And some of these folks don't even know the kid! I am the first to describe her as a challenge, but it was kind of a bummer to watch everyone relish how unhappy she was.

Excuse me! Over-bearing mom, coming through!

UPDATE: We have been home for an hour, and I am happy to report that after two children's Tylenol she is on her way to being nice. Acetimenophin rocks! Those teeth look pretty mean, though.

Where Was Your Mother in 1974?

I have made a friend at school. We will call her "Roy" because I am certain she is the sibling my mother never knew about (movie reference, there). Anyway, this girl is two years older than I and she has quite a few physical characteristics that resemble my paternal family:

1. Tall
2. Thin
3. Identical smile (you know the one that shows your gums. Man I hated that smile when I was a kid.)
4. Prominent nose
5. Bares the feminine version of the Nincompoop's name...

I have told her that I suspect we are related, but I'm not sure how to tactfully ask her if her mother frequented any Navy bases in the the mid-70s. Does Hallmark make a card like that?

I am enjoying working with this woman, but I miss my friends outside of school.
Mrs. Diamond and I don't get to talk except at the shoe store.
Mrs. Frysauce? Haven't seen her since May.
The Duchess and I have agreed we should eat lunch together. I'm thinking we'll get to it in 2009...

Can I Get Some Help Here?

I am working on my first true assignment for school. This is not the usual read 100 pages for class and participate in discussion work (which is unfortunate because I am rather gifted at that, even when I haven't read it all). NOOOOO, this is a write a 5-page essay type of assignment.

Um, does anyone have a Free Speech Philosophy I can borrow? I have to write five whole pages on my philosophy on free speech, and I don't know how to stretch "I can say whatever I want. The rest of you shut your pie holes" to five pages.

Maybe if I use a really big font....

Checking In

Not much to say here. School - Work - School - Work - Home - School - Work.

Repeat.

Um, Littlest Ms. Eris asked to go potty in the toilet for the first time tonight. She's gone before, but we had to ask her. Cross your fingers. This one may make it before she's two!

Little Mr. Eris and I finished HP #1 last week. He liked it so much we have started #2. He asked to read 3 chapters tonight!

Little Ms. Eris is plugging along. What a firecracker!

As for me, I am happily stressed to the max with school. Interestingly, I found out yesterday, through chatting with some of my fellow students, that there are people in my cohort who got a master's without writing a thesis or doing a project. They "comped" out. My fellow students were shocked to find out that for my masters I was required to write a thesis and take 8 hours of comprehensive exams with a 2 hour defense. I plan on writing my former department and asking when my second diploma arrives?!

Seriously, though, the other folks seemed kind of jealous that I had lived through that fire so I'll be passing along my thanks to the people who tortured me at USU (a la the fab job the Duchess did torturing me in preparation for my work in grad school).

I'll be checking in again soon. Feel free to email or call if you miss me.

Oh, and love and good vibes should be sent to the GP in S.M. Two words "bladder scrape." Yuck.

Miss Baltimore Crabs

I have been jamming out. I got the soundtrack to "Hairspray" yesterday (how much do I LOVE f.y.e.'s buy-back policy?!) and I have been singing along in my car all day. I am a huge fan of musicals, and as I've mentioned before I like to practice for my big Broadway debut in my car.

There is a method to the rehearsing:
1. I pick the part I think I could reasonably pull off
2. I listen through once, trying not to sing along
3. I then listen over and over and over and over again, singing along at the top of my powerful lungs.
4. I start over with a new cd.

"Hairspray" has presented me with an unpleasant reality... I am now too old to sing along to the Tracy Turnblatt or Penny parts without feeling completely ridiculous. I could probably pull of the Queen Latifa songs, but I'm not black, so we're back at square one.

Anyhow, I must face the fact that I am now old enough to play the mom roles. So, I will proudly learn "Miss Baltimore Crabs" and imagine myself looking fabulous in the costumes she gets to wear.

Suggestions...

I logged on to my Umail account today - it's where ALL the U information is found, and addressed directly to me. I have been avoiding this for a couple of weeks, because it has my tuition bill on there. But tuition is due next week and I thought I'd better bite the bullet. Which leads me to the following:

Where can I pick up an extra 2k in the next 4 days?
Seriously, how much blood would I have to donate?
I have an extra kidney here that's doing absolutely nothing.

Send suggestions... or donations ~wink~

Numismatist, you are now free to comment (NOT ON THE SHOES!).

From the Green Scottish Hills

In case you were wondering: I am a size 8 and yes, they are already on hold. Now I just have to figure out what I need to be rewarded for so I can bring them home.

PS - Can you believe I have these in a flat Mary Jane?

NO comments from the Numismatist are allowed on this one.

Beat This

I decided to "google" myself tonight. I am not well-known for my scholarship, but I found this.

I will be using this in my Christmas card this year.

Mom of the Year

Today Mr. Eris and I took the kids swimming. By the kids, I mean our three kids and the Little Meemoos. The Meemoos have been staying with us for the last 2 days. Super fun!

So we took the kids swimming and had a blast. While there, the Numismatist bought all the gang Creamies. Yum. So I'm wiping melted Creamie off tiny people, and I realize some of them have wandered off. I get up to see if the Little Meemoos are all still above water. I was not concerned about the Little Erises because they spend more time at the pool than they do at home and they know the rules.

The life guard is in the water, pulling out a child. It's the Littlest Ms. Eris. She had followed Little Mr. and Little Ms. Eris - both fine swimmers - to the edge of the pool and decided to jump in. She wasn't in there long, and when he pulled her out she coughed a bit, cried for 5 minutes and then wanted to get right back in the water.

The damage was all maternal. I cannot sit still without thinking about her sinking in the water. I can't stop cursing myself for being so careless. And I can't forgive myself for being such a bad mom.

I like to think I make up for it by keeping them bathed?

3 Down, A Billion To Go

I have completed my first three days of orientation to school.

Day 1: Awesome. My Dept. Chair gave inspirational opening remarks that made me a bit verklempt, actually. She spoke of the pride we should feel for being there - "No imposters here. We chose you," the humility we should feel for the being there - "You're here because others were not selected. Also, you are here thanks to the opportunities you have been afforded in life," (shout out to Mr. and Mrs. Numismatist) and the responsibilities we will have while there and after we finish "You will have doors open to you that others would never dream of."

Day 2: Horrifying. Starting to realize that this is at least a 4-year commitment I have just made. Am I ready to do this AGAIN?

Day 3: Meh. About teaching - but as I have not been selected to teach this semester the seminar was basically useless for my immediate needs.

So, I'll keep you posted. For those of you keeping track: Breakdowns = 1.

I Guess We'd Better Start Saving for College

Today we got the letter from Little Mr. Eris's school. This is the letter that tells us who will be his teacher for the next year. I requested Mrs. Miller (she taught there when I was a Falcon and she's the choir director - I feel strongly that Little Mr. Eris should be part of choir in his early years. A nod to the Numismatist, likely).

Anyway, as I read the letter, I laughed at the boneheads in charge of educating my child. They put him in a 5th Grade class. Um, hello? The kid is 9 years-old. That's 4th Grade. You know the one that comes after 3rd Grade (the grade he finished last year!). Then I notice the little pink note that came with the letter:

"Your student Jacob has been assigned to a fourth/fifth split class. One of the purposes of this class is to give independent learners a chance for some extended learning opportunities. Each grade will cover their core curriculum requirements, and they will also have the opportunity to broaden and deepen their learning experience beyond the basics."

I don't mean to be one of those kind of parents, but I can't stop smiling. He's smart! I am so proud!

Question

If a dog ate my marriage certificate, does this mean I can date again?