Eris Rediscovers Freddie

I had a ton of store credit to burn at the FYE - still do, even after a $100 shopping spree over the weekend. Jealous? Well, you should be. This store credit allowed me to browse, free from worry, and actually discover some CDs I didn't have, and one I wasn't even aware of.

I must take a moment to explain to you that I am, in fact, an official member of the Freddie Mercury fan club in Hungary. I don't speak Hungarian, and I have no plans for learning it - but Freddie was from Budapest and I like to worship right at the source, so I joined when I was 17.

Anyway, at the FYE I found this new volume III of Queen: Greatest Hits. It has "Barcelona" and "Princes of the Universe" and "The Great Pretender." Not to mention some songs I had never heard of, including the only studio recording from Brian, Roger and John since Freddie died.

I love Queen!

Whoa. That was a rush.

Eris Defeats the Cyberbugs

Ok, it's only taken me 6 months, but I figured it out. I now have links! Feel free to roam about, meet my friends - say, "Hello!" I'll be adding more as I find them.

I am considering adding my cyberstalking victim, as well - but is it too soon? And will it just seem creepy?

Oh, well. Chaos awaits, so I must adieu!

A Snag

ARGH! I just called the University of Washington to double check that my application packet had arrived (Which was a load of crap. Of course I knew it had arrived: I paid the post office extra money so I could track the damn thing on-line and knew exactly when it was signed for!). Anyway. The department admissions secretary was gone forever. She came back on the line and said, “It took me a while because yours was in all those other envelopes. Really difficult to sort through.”

Excuse me for a moment. DAAAAAMMMMMNNNNNIIIIIIITTTTT!

I put the information in well-labeled envelopes: 1. Letters of Recommendation; 2. Official Transcripts; 3. Curriculum Vitae; 4. Scholarly Writing Sample. The envelopes were placed in the larger envelope in the order they were listed on the instructions on the website, with my cover letter and completed application form (signed in blue ink, of course) placed in front.

Does that not sound like a beautifully organized application packet?!?! My obsessive nature would not allow me to just throw the stuff in the one envelope without organizing it in some way – which, coincidentally, is exactly what the secretary said she wished everyone would do!

Hang on. I just have to do something. AAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Ok, so the good news is: they have my packet and it’s complete. I’m in the running.

The bad news is either:
A. I have pissed off the secretary by organizing my packet the way I did and she has blackballed me (I don’t think this is the case, as we actually had a pretty good 5 minute conversation about UW and why I want to go there and I was very apologetic for being a pain in the ass);
or
2. I am applying to go to school in a department that does not appreciate organization, or filing folders, or properly enclosed materials, or – heaven forbid – using post-its that are with color coordinated highlighters.

BTW: I can expect an email or phone call between February 2 and March 30. So I should sleep like a kitten for the next 3-8 weeks.

A Funny Thing at Work

The following is a word-for-word transcription from a conversation between my officemate and me:

Roommate: "Hey, look at this. Isn't it cool?"
Eris: "Yeah, that is cool. Who drew it?"
Roommate: "Joe drew it. Don't touch it, it might have poop on it."

So there, all you people who work in a normal office with boring, old, everyday people!

Eris's List of Things that are Awesome

1. I now go to 11 o’clock church. Admittedly, this sucks for Little Eris #2, as 11 o'clock church lands us at church right in the middle of nap-time. But seriously, who are the people who show up on time for 9 o’clock church?

2. Shoes. I worked my last shift at the shoe store last night. Sad. BUT, I did get to do all
the clearance re-pricing for the season before I left, which means I created a small nation of shoes to purchase as my farewell gift to myself. Boots for $3.50!! It would have been a crime against nature to not purchase them.

3. Little Mr. Eris telling me that he doesn’t want me to quit my job at the shoe store. Why, you might ask? Because he wants me to “have 3 jobs so we can have more money.” I haven’t decided if it’s cute or offensive – either way it’s funny.

4. Mr. Eris is employed: Awesome! He’s working nights, which means we won’t be seeing each other much (not awesome), but it does free me up to actually get back to kick-boxing class.

5. Nancy Pelosi. Just cuz.

6. Hugh, Justin and Jake on SNL. I have been an SNL fan for decades now, and the last 2 seasons have been painfully bad, with the exception of 3 hosts: Hugh Laurie (“This is a protest song.”), Justin Timberlake (“Bring it on down to Homeless-ville.”), and Jake Gyllenhal (“Lazer Cats 2”).

7. Monty Python’s Flying Circus. When SNL does blow – which is most of the time, now, I can now flip to KUER and watch John, Terry and the boys. Never fails to make me laugh out loud.

8. When Far Away Grandma and Grandpa just randomly call for no reason. It makes me feel loved, and gives me comfort that they like me, too.

9. My nephew, the Newbie. Man I love that kid.

10. Ok, Meemoo, you were right: Guitar Hero is awesome. Newbie introduced me to this game on Friday night and it took all my grown up will power to say it was time to quit playing and go home. In case you were wondering: I am totally starting a Rage Against the Machine cover band.

So, those things are awesome. That should just about cover it.

I Know What I'll be Working on this Weekend!

Watch this.

Here's the game: can you name every movie, in order of appearance?

Cross 'em if You've Got 'em

Ok, the applications are sent in. Deadlines are: Utah, January 15th. University of Washington, February 1st. Who knows when I'll hear back, but in the meantime... Everyone!!

Start praying.

Worship your idols.

Fast.

Burn things in sacrifice.

Dance naked (this can be fun, as well as helpful!).

Prepare and offer up your pagan rituals.

Gather your loose change for use in bribes (or tuition, if
we're lucky!).

So, I know there are those of you (MOM!) who are struggling with which of these schools to pray for - but I'm just praying to get in. Period.

I'll keep you updated. If you're interested, I've placed the link to the program I'm hoping for above. You can take a peek at what I'm trying to get myself into.

Double 0 Seven

I have never really believed in New Year’s resolutions. I didn’t ever know what to declare as my largest shortcoming – the list was so long! So I could never decide what needed to be worked on. That is until last year.

In December 2005 Mr. Eris and I took a weekend trip to California to spend my bday in Disneyland and Vegas. It had been a harrowing year, and I needed a break. It was nice. We had a chance to remember that we actually enjoy each other’s company – very useful as we are in this marriage for the long haul. But we also spent the drive discussing a few big issues. This discussion morphed into us declaring 3 goals for 2006, informal resolutions, if you will. We had some reasonable success with this, so I have decided to try again this year – only on my own.

So, my cyber-buddies, you are my witnesses. I will now list my resolutions, by life category. If you can think of any tips for keeping them, please let me know.

Personal:
1. Establish a better sleep routine. I will work on a set bedtime and wake time, even on weekends. I don’t get enough sleep, and I never get good sleep. I hope this will help.
2. I will work on my humility and being a better listener. My dad is a very smart guy, and he pointed out to me that I struggle with feedback sometimes – what does he know?!?

Professional:
3. Gain acceptance into a PhD program.
4. Leave my current position with my 3 goals achieved: stability, consistency and organization!!

Family:
5. Hold weekly family home evening with Mr. Eris and the juniors. I need to do a better job of just sitting home and spending time with my family.

Spiritual:
6. Set aside 30 minutes a day for scripture study and prayer. I try to read every night, but cannot honestly call it study. And I’m pretty sure it doesn’t count if you fall asleep during your prayer.
7. Attend the temple monthly with Mr. Eris. Hey, it’s a cheap date – plus every little bit helps.

Financial:
8. Continue my newfound discipline of saving a set amount of money from each paycheck. I have found that if it’s the 2nd thing I do with my paycheck, I actually do it!

So there you have it. I don’t think I’m trying to change the world, just make mine a little better. I’ll keep you posted on my progress – or maybe you’ll see it in my newfound zen-like peaceful countenance.

The King of Pop

On Monday I was in charge of the Christmas party we held for the clients at my work. If you remember, they are adults with developmental disabilities, so Santa plays a LARGE role in the festivities. Santa came to the party and each client got a chance to visit with him and they all took home some gifts.

One client, Jane, took a moment to talk to Santa and she seemed genuinely excited to see him. As she walked away from Santa, with a grin on her face, she muttered to nobody in particular:

"Now do I get to meet Michael Jackson?"

Can't You Hear the Alphaville Playing

Just for fun, I answered these questions. Feel free to answer them yourself, but you really should share with the group!

PS - See Duchess, I am a cyber-stalker!

1. Who was your first prom date?
Chris – ask my mom about the dress. Her only disaster.

2. Who was your first room mate?
Other than my sister, you move on to my husband. Unless you count the week at cheerleading camp: Faith.

3. What alcoholic beverage did you first drink?
Wine, sneaked from the fridge when I was 14.

4. What was your first job?
Cleaning a doctor’s office, $20 a pop.

5. What was your first car?
1989 Geo Metro. It cost $9.00 to fill up and I could drive on that for over a week. It was gray, had a kick-ass stereo, and my mom once found my boyfriend’s (see #18) underwear under the front seat. Man, I miss that car.

6. When did you go to your first funeral?
1984 – Great-grandma Hipwell.

7. Who was your first grade teacher?
Mrs. Bromley – coincidently, also my 5th grade teacher. Creepily, I dated her son in high school (I’m grimacing as I type).

8. Where did you go on your first ride on an airplane?
California – Disneyland to support the Americanization and corporatization of the world.

9. When you snuck out of your house for the first time, who was it with?
Do you mean “sneaked?” I am sad to report I have led a very obedient life, and I cannot recall ever sneaking out of the house. But my sister did… now that’s a story. Damn dogs.

10. Who was your first best friend and are you still friends?
Stephanie and No. But my next best friend was Faith, and yes.

11. Where was your first sleepover?
I’m going to guess my paternal grandparents. Friend-sleepover was Stephanie, mentioned in #10.

12. Who is the first person you talk to in the morning?
Mr. Eris, when I growl at him to quit waking me up even though, the night before, I specifically asked him to wake me up in the morning.

13. Whose wedding were you in the first time?
Being a niece to several aunts, I have spent many a wedding in a flower girl or honorary flower girl dress. The first time I was ever truly in a wedding it was my sister’s – man did she hate me back then. She spent a lot of time muttering for me to get away from her. I’m pretty sure I was asked to be in the wedding per my mother’s instructions.

14. What is the first thing you do in the morning?
Hit the snooze button. 6 times. Then I get up and curse myself for sleeping in.

15. What was the first concert you ever went to?
The Monkees and Weird Al Yankovic. Woo-hoo!!!

16. First celebrity crush?
I was going to be Mrs. Larry Gatlin. Now he’s a Bushie, so that’s definitely off.

17. First crush?
Jesse H. So cute, but very short. Broke my heart – lesson learned.

18. First TRUE love?
I’ll be skewered for this: Chad H. High school sweetheart, would have married him in a heartbeat – but he dumped me because he was convinced I was in love with Mr. Eris (my ETERNAL LOVE).

19. When was your first detention?
Nada.

I have added:
20. When was your first kiss?
Age 13, at Barbara P.’s birthday party at Golden Spike Ice Skating Arena. It was Monte S. and the kiss was a quick peck. But, my first real kiss, with all the trimmings: Age 14, with a guy I met at Lagoon. So very Utah.

UPDATE

Mr. Eris is now sans-bone tumor and the happy host of a 7" rod in the femur, a 3" screw into the hip, and a partial bone graft.

He's doing well - thanks for your well-wishes and prayers!

Twenty-10

On December 6th, I turned 30. Thirty is awesome. Most people dread this birthday, but I have been looking forward to it. I made a lot of progress in my twenties: graduated from college - twice, had 3 kids, built a successful marriage, bought a house, started a career, etc.

But I also made a lot of bonehead mistakes. In honor of waving goodbye to my twenties, I have composed a list of things I will not miss about the years 1996 - 2006:

1. Working at Blockbuster. Sure, I met my husband and several of my best friends there, but that company sucked. They laid me off and then screwed me over - multiple times. Besides retail sucks.
2. Being overly concerned with how others see me. In my twenties I
spent a lot of time worrying about whether or not I looked stupid - I'm hoping to avoid this in the next decade.
3. Stupid choices in friends. For some reason I wasted a ridiculous amount of time with a person who: a. picked fights with me for no reason and then made me apologize for doing nothing wrong; b. was disliked by my family and other friends; c. spoke ill of my children; and d. was just an all-around-bitch. That better not happen in my thirties.
4. Uncomfortableness with my in-laws. My first few years of marriage were riddled with awkwardness and sublte-hostility between my husband's mother and me. These challenges have morphed into an understanding that we both love my husband a whole lot and can stand on that common ground, avoiding the rocky stuff.
5. The Nincompoop.

Ok, so that's my list of reasons why 30 is to be embraced. Besides, I'll always be the youngest sibling in my family, and Brent, Wendy, Nancy, and Jennifer: that's what really matters.

Can't Sleep

I have a defect. Perfectionism. I am not perfect: that is the problem. Tonight while trying to fall asleep, I realized I had made a small mistake at work today. Nothing catastrophic. It could make me look like a doofus if my boss has to find out, but I don't think that will happen.

Anyway, I am now unable to sleep.

I do this all the time. I make a mistake and I act like it's the end of the world. "Oh no! People will actually realize that I am prone to error." Let the overreacting and irritable bowel begin. Could someone please help me gain some perspective, here?

PS - To Mom again, you'll notice the rant has changed slightly just to be safe. :)

Beware: A Rant

I have been absent recently, due, in part, to some emergency family situations, but mostly because our laptop just up and quit on us. UGH! So in honor of our crappy computer and the fact that I am an inch away from strangling the next a**hole who bugs me at work – here’s another list of things that are pissing me off.

1. Second-hand laptops that work perfectly for 3 months and then die - repeatedly.

2. People telling me to eat something. Or even better: People asking my husband if I'm ok because I've lost weight and, apparently, have bags under my eyes?!?! Thanks, that feels good.

3. The fact that I am in the mood to crank some System of a Down, but am at work and must, therefore, settle for something that doesn’t have a parental warning sticker.

4. Blah, blah, blah. Things about work.

5. Tumors in the bone. FU** YOU!

6. People who claim poverty to me. I work for a non-profit, am the sole bread-winner in the family, and in two weeks will be faced with a literal SH**-load of medical bills (see #5). Don’t tell me how poor you are, I really don’t want to hear about it.

7. The liberal media myth. This one’s just under my skin right now because I’m watching the post-election coverage and it’s so blatantly pro-conservative/Republican that I could vomit.

8. Criminals as church leaders. If you have, oh I don’t know, embezzled thousands of dollars from a previous employer YOU ARE A THIEF, not a spiritual advisor.

9. Cramps and anything involving my nether regions. I’d like to saw myself in half.

10. The fact that I have to wait until March or April to find out about school. I miss being in school so badly right now, and I just want to know if I’m going or if I’m trapped here for another hellishly boring year. Dear UW, Please let me be a Husky. Love always, Eris.

Wow, I really do feel better now.

PS - Mom, I'm really ok.

YAHOOOOOOOO!

I cannot contain my glee today. Overwhelming happiness for the following:

- San Francisco's Nancy Pelosi (BTW, she spent 50 years as a June freaking Cleaver, stay-at-home mom) is the likely Speaker of the House. A woman will be 3rd in line for the presidency. Don't get me wrong, I dislike President Bush and all he and his crazy-ass conservative buddies stand for, but I don't wish him ill. My glee over Nancy Pelosi is that it just brings us one step closer.
Ovaries in the Oval Office!

- Missouri and stem cell research. Claire McCaskill is a pro-choice, pro-family liberall who strongly supports stem cell research. And as Ms. McCaskill went, so went the approval of stem cell research on the ballot.

- South Dakota and my uterus can now be friends. Thanks to all South Dakotans who voted down the abortion ban. Thanks for definitively stating that I, as a grown woman who can be trusted as an employee, as a mother, and as a citizen, can actually be trusted to make a wise and informed decision on what to do with my body.

There's much more, but considering that I was up until 12:30 watching returns and I am not being the most productive at work... I should really get back to work.

UPDATE: Seriously, Donald Rumsfeld resigns? I am giddy. Dance naked in the streets giddy.

Lefty, pinko, tree-hugging, tax-hiking, French-speaking, pro-choice, feminazi... and Damn Proud of It!

Your 'Do You Want the Terrorists to Win' Score: 100%

You are a terrorist-loving, Bush-bashing, "blame America first"-crowd traitor. You are in league with evil-doers who hate our freedoms. By all counts you are a liberal, and as such cleary desire the terrorists to succeed and impose their harsh theocratic restrictions on us all. You are fit to be hung for treason! Luckily George Bush is tapping your internet connection and is now aware of your thought-crime. Have a nice day.... in Guantanamo!

Do You Want the Terrorists to Win?
Quiz Created on GoToQuiz

November 3, 4, 6

I’m not entirely sure how to write this, and it will undoubtedly sound self-absorbed, so maybe I shouldn’t. But I have to let something out and this is the place to do it.

Tomorrow is November 4, which makes Sunday November 5. A date which likely means nothing to most of the world. But I meet November 5 with mixed emotions. It was one year ago that I watched helplessly from the sidelines as two of the best friends I have in my life went through unspeakable events. The details aren’t important, let’s just say they were in pain and I could do nothing to make it better.

The past year has brought more tears than I thought I could cry and such a feeling of uselessness. I am a “fixer.” I want things to be perfect for everyone and I will do all I can to make it so. But this… this I couldn’t fix. I watched these women and all I could do was listen to them, hope to find the right words to help and pray. A LOT.

I am praying. I went to the temple for them (even the Catholic one, because I know she would appreciate any gesture of faith). They seem to be doing well – a testament to their strength. Still, I sit by the phone, ready to talk to them if they need it, but afraid to call them for fear of dragging them down when they may have just gotten back up.

So I meet November 5, not knowing what to do. I feel the urge to tell it to fu** off. It’s a horrible day that I don’t want my friends to ever think of again.

I feel the urge to weep uncontrollably, for the pain they went through and the loss they suffered.

I want to scream at the world, “Stop moving! These women need a damn ticker tape parade!” Then I will line everyone up and make them cheer and throw roses.

But strangely enough, I feel the urge to celebrate on this day – getting one of them drunk and singing karaoke with the other – because they have made it through. This to me is bigger than the sadness. They are brilliant and beautiful and amazing. They are more than I ever could be. They will make it to November 6, 2006.

Give That Woman a Freaking Medal!

Oh man, I'd like to shake this woman's hand.

Things That Probably Never Happen Where You Work

I keep a mental list of things that happen at my job that would never happen at your job. Sometimes I include items from that list here for your enjoyment. Well, one of those things is happening right now.

I share an office with someone. He came into our office after I sat in here with the door closed for an hour and all he said was, "It stinks in here. (Pause) It smells like piss in here."

At your job you'd be offended right? Well not here. First, we check the chairs to make sure none of our clients sneaked in and left a present (this happens). Second, we check all the walls. Third, we ask everyone in the front office to remember if they saw anyone fishy doing anything fishy.

All these things are done because you never know where urine, and any other bodily fluids, will end up around here. I love it here.

Must Read

On this election day I will vote with this burned on my brain. And it will stay there, I hope forever.